it's only the vegans who wear birkenstocks because they're radicalized, so you're safe with me.
i'd just get you back by giving you a veggie burger made from black beans, lemon grass, hemp, chia seeds (they seem to promote hair growth), and plain white yogurt as a binding agent. then i'd top it with ketchup made from sassafrass roots with carrot juice for color, and organic onions grown next to a rain forrest that are ecologically renewable.