New Years/Christmas Shenanigans: Take Me Out To the Ballgame

[DowningRules]

The Holidays will get you every time, won’t they?  You think you’re ahead of the game.  This year will be different since you’ve already got the gifts, you’ve booked your time off, and you frontloaded some good excuses for why you can’t go to this or that party. 

 

Date Chick and I went to a couple good parties.  Since two of them were in L.A., we were pretty done with the party circuit by the time another one came around.  We hung out around my house long enough the Saturday of one party, where we avoided all the traffic on the way up, not arriving to the party until about 9:30pm when everyone was sauced.  That’s the way to do it.  You never want to be within the first 1-15 people at a party.  No one knows what to say to one another and you’re caught in the middle.  I feel like I’m that guy the first 10 are looking at to kick start the conversation.  I’m probably giving myself too much credit, but it’s a relief when you don’t have that burden.

 

One party was at my Iranian friends’ house.  Bel Air.  Makes me think of the band 999 and their song ‘Hollywood;’ an older semi-punk KROQ tune from about 1980.  I loved that song.  It’s about the band and how they’re all excited to go to Hollywood for the first time but ultimately, they’re disappointed.  One of the lines in the song is:  “Have you heard about Bel Air...Have you heard about...clean air?  HOLLYWOOD!”

 

Anyhow, Iranians have a playful cultural insensitivity.  It’s harmless, but surprising.  Kind of like white folk parties up until about 1985.  My friend was throwing a ‘hip hop’ party to celebrate his birthday.  The invite called for guests to dress up in hip hop attire.  I was very afraid I would see some Iranian folk in black face, but that didn’t happen.  However, I don’t think the DJ of color was too thrilled to see that pimp costumes were supposed to be hip hop.  There was a hired break dance crew who were fantastic.  Date Chick and I had a good time, but we got out of there after about an hour.  Neither of us really drink, so the party circuit gets lip service from us.  Small talk isn’t real fun when you’re hammered or tipsy.  It’s a downright disease when you’re sober.

 

My brother and his family were coming in from Spain for Christmas and to celebrate my mom’s 80^th birthday.  She wanted all the family around for her January birthday, but with a good sum of them living half way around the world, the decision was made to move the party to December 28^th when everyone could be around.  My brothers flew in from everywhere, but first, the Spaniards arrived December 21.  I waited up for them.  I looked online and their plane landed at 9:30pm.  I waited for them to arrive at my mom’s house.  And waited.  Then waited some more. 

 

I thought I had Christmas all put together but I got a call earlier in the day that threw everything sideways.  My sister-in-law, who lives close to my dad, called around noon.  She was crying.  My dad had just passed away and she couldn't reach my other brother as he was driving from Montana, daughter in tow.  She couldn't get ahold of anyone and I was next on the 'to call' list. 

 

I wanted to tell my brother from Spain in person about our dad.  It was only right that I tell him after he arrived from the airport.  It sucked for both of us, but it was the right course of action.

 

Finally, at 2am, the Spaniards walked in, exhausted.  It took them nearly five hours to get from LAX to Newport.  The shuttle van driver drove right into the traffic caused by the closed off section of the 405 freeway near the 22.  Despite my brother’s pleas, the driver would not take an alternate route.  The driver followed the detour signs and ended up...right back on the 405 where they repeated the path they had just sat in for an hour.  My brother’s youngest son puked a few times.  The van had to pull to the side of the freeway so the gents could take a whiz.  Remarkable that this dipshite driver, who drives for a living, did not think that maybe this section of the 405 might be closed down, as it had been on and off at night for over a year.  Maybe two.  He wouldn’t take my brother’s advice to shimmy over to PCH. 

 

I asked my brother to follow me upstairs so I could tell him about our dad.  The brother took it a little harder than me, but we both expected it since my dad had:  lung cancer, was on his third pacemaker, had fought off pneumonia several times and so on.  He really should’ve passed 10 years ago, but he was an ass kicker, built of depression era stock.

 

My wife’s passing prepped me for this.  Hardened me for bad news.  I wasn’t as sad as I should’ve been, but I don’t feel bad about it.  My dad lived more than 80 years and did alot.  Raised kids, raised hell, built a business, sold a business, invested poorly, invested wisely, met his grandchildren, saw his four sons grow up.  He also purchased a share of Angels season tickets with his friends in 1966.  They divided up the tickets at the Arches in Newport, well before the town was saddled with Mercedes Benzs and boob jobs.  And when JC Pennys was the anchor store at Fashion Island.  And decades before the Arches would become ‘A.’  Which is on the land owned by the family of Date Chick.  Incredible how this all works out, isn’t it?

 

I have a vision of my dad and his three amigos drinking like four Don Drapers at the Arches bar in the middle of the day in their dark suits and skinny ties, sliding around Angel tickets like so many baseball cards.  He lived a life.  My wife got cheated.  That’s life. 

 

If it weren’t for my dad, I don’t know if I would have become an Angel fan.  There’s a chance you wouldn’t be reading this now.  Selected by the Chicago Cubs years ago, my dad instead decided to play in the Army softball league during the Korean War.  Not that he had much of a choice.  He taught me how to hit, field and most importantly, deal with death.  It wasn’t explained as such, but my dad simply didn’t let me or my brothers slag anything off.  If we were presented with an issue, we had to deal with it.  And if you complained, then you were only making the problem worse.  Don’t complain.  Fix it.  If you weren’t trying with everything you had, then you were failing.  In the ‘70s, when the Angels had some unbelievably crappy teams, my dad wrote as much in a letter to Gene Autry.  He wasn’t pleased with the team going through the motions on the field as evidenced by a couple of players not hustling out grounders.  I don’t remember who it was, but one of the Angels players called my dad at work to apologize. 

 

This Christmas wasn’t going as planned.  But that’s okay.  If everything goes as planned, you’re not really living. 

 

I flew up to my dad’s funeral New Years Day.  Date Chick took me to the airport and picked me up the next night.  I don’t like funerals.  I don’t like to linger and get maudlin.  It does me no good.  I can service all that depression in private (or on here, of course).

 

Just as my dad had prepared me for my wife’s passing, my wife prepared me for my dad’s passing.  I didn’t shed a tear.  I didn’t get in the dumps.  Instead, I realized that this was a gift.  My dad was no longer in pain and he was saved from the awful subsistence that is hospice.  He went out the way he would’ve liked to:  A nice meal, a few minutes on the throne, and then, lights out.  Elvis in affect. 

 

Date Chick, as you might gather, is still in the picture.  She’s great.  I still don’t know what she’s doing with me.  She’s a head turner and she’s the type that gets all sorts of crazy messages on facebook at 1am from would-be suiters flying high on Ambien. 

 

Life just moves on, doesn’t it?  The more you plan, the more things change.  What did the organist play at the end of my dad's funeral?  "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," of course. 

 

 

[Amazing Larry]

You've had a rough couple of years DR. It's good to see you're keeping you're chin up and rolling with the punches.

[Brandon]

Sorry for your loss, DR. Strangely relate a bit more than other stories.

 

When my father was murdered I was the first call as well since they couldn't get ahold of anyone else....it is a unique feeling when your phone rings, you see the area code of the phone number, and almost assume what the call is going to be. I'm not emotional, so it wasn't a consoling type of call...more informative. But it hit me right away when they asked that I tell everyone else as I knew certain members were going to take it a lot worse. Still one of the worst feelings and experiences I have ever been through is being the one to tell my sister who was closer to him, I remember it too vividly. Sorry you also had to be the bearer of bad news as well, it's a tough burden.

 

We also had the same experience as just before Christmas we got a phone call about my better halfs Grandfather having severe cancer. It was unique to see the girlfriends mother do all the grieving steps, but in really quick succession. The girlfriend flew out New Years morning and it was like he waited for her arrival as he passed the day after when he knew everyone was ok and he could let go. Ironically, I'm sitting here waiting as we are going to his funeral in a bit. We just moved too, so while everyone wanted to see our new place, we also had room for family out of state. Kind of a unique feeling for my birthday over the weekend as there was kind of a morbid sense even though everyone seemed to have gotten most of it out since his passing....maybe it's just the fact you know why everyone is together.

 

Hope I didn't hijack, just really related and sharing.

[Stradling]

DR, sorry for your loss. Whenever you write something it brings up memories for me. My mother passed 15 years ago when she was 59, and my oldest brother 8 years ago at the age of 44. I can relate to your kind of loss, I love the way you put real human emotion into words for us all to read and grow from.

[Tank]

You've had a rough couple of years DR. It's good to see you're keeping you're chin up and rolling with the punches.

 

that about sums it up nicely.

 

you have to play the cards you're dealt, and that includes some really lousy hands. glad you have a pretty positive attitude while going through all of this. we're all pulling for you, DR.

[mtangelsfan]

Thanks DR, I hope your writing is as cathartic for you writing it as it is for me reading it.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

I was really hoping that tragedy and sadness would not come calling on you this holiday season. It can be a very rough time of year. I lost my father and my grandfather two days apart in January 2000 (the anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks), and my mother died on my father's birthday in October 1984. I can identify. Like you, my father imparted on me both my work ethic and my love for this great game. Maybe they have met in Heaven and the two of them are talking baseball.

 

As always, a great job of writing. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of great loss.

Edited January 15, 2014 by Vegas Halo Fan

[BaseballMom]

I was really hoping that tragedy and sadness would not come calling on you this holiday season. It can be a very rough time of year. I lost my father and my grandfather two days apart in January 2000 (the anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks), and my mother died on my father's birthday in October 1984. I can identify. Like you, my father imparted on me both my work ethic and my love for this great game. Maybe they have met in Heaven and the two of them are talking baseball.

 

As always, a great job of writing. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of great loss.

 

Wow...In 1999 my Mom died on my Dad's birthday and then my grandmother died on my son's birthday. My grandmother died the day after Christmas, about an hour after the last of the grandkids said their goodbyes.  We couldn't drive up until the day after Christmas, it's like she was waiting for us.

 

DR, I love that you share your shenanigans posts with us.  Please never stop.

[The Ghost of Bob Starr]

DR, some of your best Shenanigans are the somber ones.   I say that in the most respectful way.  I feel extremely fortunate to catch a glimpse of your thoughts.   You're strangely like an older brother/best friend passing along this wisdom that a non-existent brother, or friends could ever muster up.    You have incredible perspective.    You don't even know me, yet I imagine you'd be able to deliver the most apropos euology of me, just based on the way you perceive things.   Thank you for always bringing such rich textures to typically ordinary things.

 

I am sorry for your loss, but you always manage to find that silver lining.   Thank you, and my condolences. 

[The Ghost of Bob Starr]

I feel like DR deserves his own Topic on AW.com within the Hangout?   Might encourage him to write more too,

 

Chuck?  If we can have a God topic, can't we have a DR topic?   Their wisdom may be one in the same.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Wow...In 1999 my Mom died on my Dad's birthday and then my grandmother died on my son's birthday. My grandmother died the day after Christmas, about an hour after the last of the grandkids said their goodbyes.  We couldn't drive up until the day after Christmas, it's like she was waiting for us.

 

To extend it a little further, my grandfather died the day after my mother's birthday, my father two days after that. My grandfather's death was expected. He was 100 years old and had just had a heart attack. My father's wasn't. He had just come back from the hospital after being treated for a respiratory infection but was supposedly fine. My sister debated about telling him about my grandfather's death but she decided that he deserved to know. Two days later, both of them were gone.

 

I didn't go to my grandfather's funeral (in Newfoundland) because I had just been informed that I was being laid off. Had I gone, I would have found out the night before my grandfather's funeral that my father had died, and I would have had to divert to Florida before returning to Las Vegas.

Edited January 16, 2014 by Vegas Halo Fan

[Stradling]

To extend it a little further, my grandfather died the day after my mother's birthday, my father two days after that. My grandfather's death was expected. He was 100 years old and had just had a heart attack. My father's wasn't. He had just come back from the hospital after being treated for a respiratory infection but was supposedly fine. My sister debated about telling him about my grandfather's death but she decided that he deserved to know. Two days later, both of them were gone.

I didn't go to my grandfather's funeral (in Newfoundland) because I had just been informed that I was being laid off. Had I gone, I would have found out the night before my grandfather's funeral that my father had died, and I would have had to divert to Florida before returning to Las Vegas.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that my mom passed away 15 years ago. It was on my sons 5th birthday. It is always a bitter sweet day for me.

[DowningRules]

This Shenanigan seemed to really hit home with alot of us angelwin'ers.  I'm sorry for everyone's losses.  Great incites from everyone. 

 

My dad's passing didn't hit me in a negative fashion.  I wasn't pleased with it, but I was relieved he went quickly and in relative peace.  Some of you weren't as 'lucky' and I appreciate the individual experience.  We've all got them.

[Jim]

I feel like I’m that guy the first 10 are looking at to kick start the conversation.  I’m probably giving myself too much credit, but it’s a relief when you don’t have that burden.

I feel ya brotha

 

You could not have expressed any better the feelings I had when my father passed. My father collapsed and passed suddenly not but two feet from me. Immediately after much of the commotion had lessened and my father was on his way to the hospital, I remember feeling simultaneously both sadness and a relief. It’s a weird mix of feelings for sure. I didn’t cry, which was also an immediate concern of mine. It took a bit of reflection to get right with the thoughts I had surrounding that moment, and I’m happy to say that it sits well with me today as a positive thought. In the end, I was gifted the opportunity to spend the last hours of my father’s life together, for that I'm pleased.

 

You and your family have my sincere condolences.

 

On the liter side of things, glad to hear Date Chick hasn’t flown the coop, she sounds like a pretty awesome gal.   

[Jim]

Also, I took note on what your father did.

 

I should be getting a call from Hamilton anytime now.