Blum: 5 years after Skaggs’ death, his loved ones’ grief remains raw

[jsnpritchett]

Great article from Sam Blum on how Skaggs' mom and wife, and friend Andrew Heaney are coping with his lost, as the 5-year anniversary of his passing nears.

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5562739/2024/06/20/tyler-skaggs-family-andrew-heaney-five-years/

Some excerpts:

"Without even noticing, Debbie Skaggs, the mother of the late Angels pitcher Tyler Skaggs, slips into the present tense. For three short sentences, her voice elevates, her face lights up.

“He doesn’t big league anyone,” she said. “He’s funny too, he’s a funny guy. And he’s a total music guy.”

For a moment, it’s almost forgotten. But Debbie’s reality is never gone for long: Tyler’s death from a fentanyl overdose, now five years ago. The revelation of his drug abuse. The high-profile trial of a former Angels communications employee. The still-pending $100 million lawsuit against his former team. The fact that she must speak about her son in the past tense."

...

"Near the entrance to Debbie’s Los Angeles home is a shrine to her late son. Photos and paintings of him line the walls. In another room is a framed jersey with Skaggs’ number that Nationals starter Patrick Corbin wore as a tribute.

Debbie and Carli, who chose to be interviewed together in Debbie’s home, are close. They’re comfortable finishing each other’s thoughts and asking one another for confirmation when discussing their memories of Tyler. They still regularly get lunch and go for walks.

“I think about Tyler all the time,” Carli said. “I think about the family that we’d have. How many kids we’d have. Just what our life would be like right now. All the time, I think about it.”

...

"Heaney admits he didn’t really care about playing baseball for a while following Skaggs’ death. He had a hard time being present with his teammates. The guy that got Heaney out of his shell was no longer there.

“The void of being in the same organization on the same team,” Heaney said, “and just not having the guy that was my locker neighbor, and my spring training catch partner and the guy that I’d go watch his bullpens, and he’d watch mine, I’d talk with him — I didn’t have that.”

“When you have that one person that you feel like you can be a little more vulnerable with, or closer to, and then they’re gone, you kind of just clam up.”

...

"At least once a day, Debbie will sit down on the couch nearest to the front door of her Los Angeles home. It looks directly toward the shrine she created for her son.

There are paintings of him from when he was young, and one of her with Tyler. There’s a framed jersey with accompanying photos. His flame-shaped urn rests on a table with his glove on top of it. The bubble gum that remained in his locker sits next to it.

She comes there daily to talk to Tyler. Mostly, it’s to tell him that she misses him."

[Erstad Grit]

The whole story sucks.

I wish the Angels and Skaggs family partnered together in mourning, and in sending a warning message to youth about drugs.

Instead the Skaggs are blaming the Angels for enabling and the angels are spending resources for a lawsuit. 

[ScottM]

Because it always needs to be said: Fuck Eric Kay.

[ScottM]

40 minutes ago, Erstad Grit said:

The whole story sucks.

I wish the Angels and Skaggs family partnered together in mourning, and in sending a warning message to youth about drugs.

Instead the Skaggs are blaming the Angels for enabling and the angels are spending resources for a lawsuit. 

Hard to blame the Skaggs family when the Angels comms director was running a pill mill.

[jsnpritchett]

Blum interviewed Eric Kay:

"It was during this tumultuous era that Kay says that he and Skaggs were in a codependent relationship as two people addicted to opioids.

The relationship started in 2015, according to Kay’s recollection during a Southlake Police Department interview conducted on Sept. 25, 2019. Notes from the interview were obtained by The Athletic. Kay told those investigators that he approached Skaggs when Kay’s other drug source fell through.

When Kay’s addiction reached its apex, he was on the social media site OfferUp, looking to purchase drugs for himself, Skaggs and, eventually, other Angels players.

“He would just berate me at times. It was constant at times,” Kay said of Skaggs. “I just wanted to shut him up, to placate him. Because he wasn’t going away.”

Edited June 27 by jsnpritchett

[Chuck]

I got to give credit to Sam Blum getting both side's perspectives of this story, even if he has to go to federal prison to get the interview. 

[Dtwncbad]

1 hour ago, Chuck said:

I got to give credit to Sam Blum getting both side's perspectives of this story, even if he has to go to federal prison to get the interview. 

If he is going to do the story at all, yes it is good to get both sides.

But the larger question is why is he doing a “story” about a five year anniversary of a tragedy?

Am I supposed to be thankful to Sam Blum for making sure I remember a tragedy?  What purpose does this story serve other than to drag everyone’s emotions back to the center of a painful tragedy?

Honestly I find it distasteful and based on who Blum has always been, it sure seems selfishly exploitive.

[jsnpritchett]

3 hours ago, Dtwncbad said:

If he is going to do the story at all, yes it is good to get both sides.

But the larger question is why is he doing a “story” about a five year anniversary of a tragedy?

Am I supposed to be thankful to Sam Blum for making sure I remember a tragedy?  What purpose does this story serve other than to drag everyone’s emotions back to the center of a painful tragedy?

Honestly I find it distasteful and based on who Blum has always been, it sure seems selfishly exploitive.

Pretty stupid take, but you're entitled to your opinion.  The family's lawsuit is still ongoing and they were clearly comfortable talking with Blum about the topic, given the depth/length of the interview with them that was published recently.

I'm pretty sure similar "anniversary" articles have been posted about Adenhart's death--and there's another thread on this forum about Lyman Bostock's murder.  Do you think folks who write/podcast about those topics are "selfishly exploitative," too?  Do you get annoyed at 9/11 anniversary articles, too? 

[Dtwncbad]

2 minutes ago, jsnpritchett said:

Pretty stupid take, but you're entitled to your opinion.  The family's lawsuit is still ongoing and they were clearly comfortable talking with Blum about the topic, given the depth/length of the interview with them that was published recently.

I'm pretty sure similar "anniversary" articles have been posted about Adenhart's death--and there's another thread on this forum about Lyman Bostock's murder.  Do you think folks who write/podcast about those topics are "selfishly exploitative," too?  Do you get annoyed at 9/11 anniversary articles, too? 

You are also entitled to your opinion about my opinion. I see no purpose in the article and I think Blum is a little sensationalist exploitive narcissist dork.  Put those two together and I had something to say about it.

Tragedy.  I hope the family finds peace.

 

[jsnpritchett]

1 minute ago, Dtwncbad said:

You are also entitled to your opinion about my opinion. I see no purpose in the article and I think Blum is a little sensationalist exploitive narcissist dork.  Put those two together and I had something to say about it.

Tragedy.  I hope the family finds peace.

 

Did you actually read the article or did you form your opinion about it just based on your previously-held opinions of Blum?

[Dtwncbad]

Just now, jsnpritchett said:

Did you actually read the article or did you form your opinion about it just based on your previously-held opinions of Blum?

What is your interest in auditing my opinion?  You don’t like it.  Cool.  I won’t try to change your mind.

[ScottM]

3 hours ago, Dtwncbad said:

If he is going to do the story at all, yes it is good to get both sides.

But the larger question is why is he doing a “story” about a five year anniversary of a tragedy?

Am I supposed to be thankful to Sam Blum for making sure I remember a tragedy?  What purpose does this story serve other than to drag everyone’s emotions back to the center of a painful tragedy?

Honestly I find it distasteful and based on who Blum has always been, it sure seems selfishly exploitive.

I see you have zero understanding of how journalism works.

[jsnpritchett]

Just now, Dtwncbad said:

What is your interest in auditing my opinion?  You don’t like it.  Cool.  I won’t try to change your mind.

So you didn't read the article.  Got it.

[Dtwncbad]

Just now, ScottM said:

I see you have zero understanding of how journalism works.

Maybe you have no understanding of how people having opinions works?

[Dtwncbad]

Just now, jsnpritchett said:

So you didn't read the article.  Got it.

You draw your own conclusions.  No problem.  Settled.

[T.G.]

I read the article.  It was interesting.  I think the article tries to show some empathy for Kay.  I think that's the "why."  I don't know if it worked though.  I don't really have feelings about Kay one way or the other. 

[jsnpritchett]

17 minutes ago, T.G. said:

I read the article.  It was interesting.  I think the article tries to show some empathy for Kay.  I think that's the "why."  I don't know if it worked though.  I don't really have feelings about Kay one way or the other. 

I appreciate you reading and commenting, T.G.  Interesting take.  My impression was more about the collateral damage that Kay's and Skaggs' actions had on the lives of their loved ones, more so than showing empathy for Kay himself.  Blum obviously includes plenty of quotes from Kay that appear to be attempts from Kay himself wanting empathy/understanding, but for me personally, I thought it was telling that Blum ends the article by pivoting back to the impact on Skaggs' loved ones, not Kay.

Just a messy situation all around.  I do feel for Kay's kids, who've run into issues with their careers or aspirations within the sports world due to having the last name Kay.

[T.G.]

5 minutes ago, jsnpritchett said:

I appreciate you reading and commenting, T.G.  Interesting take.  My impression was more about the collateral damage that Kay's and Skaggs' actions had on the lives of their loved ones, more so than showing empathy for Kay himself.  Blum obviously includes plenty of quotes from Kay that appear to be attempts from Kay himself wanting empathy/understanding, but for me personally, I thought it was telling that Blum ends the article by pivoting back to the impact on Skaggs' loved ones, not Kay.

Just a messy situation all around.  I do feel for Kay's kids, who've run into issues with their careers or aspirations within the sports world due to having the last name Kay.

Good points all the way around.  The collateral damage is severe for sure. 

I can't believe it's been five years.

[Tank]

haven't read the story yet but i always appreciate getting the full story of what happened instead of just cherry-picked headline news summaries or bits & pieces to support an agenda. 

[DCAngelsFan]

Hate to be "that guy", but I know too many people who've lost their children to opioid / fentanyl overdoses, and there's no anniversary articles for them, no lawsuits with massive payouts pending, no one's in jail, and there's very little empathy, mostly just embarrassed silences, and friends who've all-but abandoned them because of their grief.  Just dusty bedrooms that haven't been touched in years, couples coming apart at the seams, and an empty place at the table on holidays.

Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with his friends and family, what happened to him was a tragedy, and he's a loss in their lives that can never be replaced.  And like I said, I know too many people who've lost their children, to drugs, violence, war, accidents - and they're never the same after. 

But there's a part of me that resents everyone acting like he was the innocent victim of a tragedy, while everyone else who've died the same way kind of had it coming.  

(And Adenhart and Bostock are not analogues, for reasons I don't have to express)

 

[jsnpritchett]

14 minutes ago, DCAngelsFan said:

Hate to be "that guy", but I know too many people who've lost their children to opioid / fentanyl overdoses, and there's no anniversary articles for them, no lawsuits with massive payouts pending, no one's in jail, and there's very little empathy, mostly just embarrassed silences, and friends who've all-but abandoned them because of their grief.  Just dusty bedrooms that haven't been touched in years, couples coming apart at the seams, and an empty place at the table on holidays.

Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with his friends and family, what happened to him was a tragedy, and he's a loss in their lives that can never be replaced.  And like I said, I know too many people who've lost their children, to drugs, violence, war, accidents - and they're never the same after. 

But there's a part of me that resents everyone acting like he was the innocent victim of a tragedy, while everyone else who've died the same way kind of had it coming.  

(And Adenhart and Bostock are not analogues, for reasons I don't have to express)

 

I'm guessing you didn't read the article I posted today or the one that opened the thread. 

[cals]

20 years is too much but man, Kay comes across like a real douche.

[cals]

That said, Mama Skaggs isn’t a very sympathetic figure either.

[Blarg]

3 hours ago, cals said:

That said, Mama Skaggs isn’t a very sympathetic figure either.

My instincts say Mama and Wifey knew Tyler was using but wouldn't hand him over to the MLB drug policy in a contract year. They gambled and lost out on a lottery ticket contract. 

[The Ghost of Bob Starr]

On 6/20/2024 at 10:52 AM, ScottM said:

Because it always needs to be said: Fuck Eric Kay.

Nobody put a gun to Skaggs’ head to pick up.   Pushers suck, but their business does without clients.