Ted Cruz doesn't like dildos or masturbation

[nate]

I don't think any elected politician actually believes in anything 

 

Other than getting re-elected

[nate]

This is from 9 years ago. It's about digging up dirt.

 

I didn't say which campaign...

[Blarg]

He was a lawyer at the time and assigned the case to prosecute by the District Attorney. It was a team effort so obviously these court flings are not word for word from Ted Cruz. In fact it is not clear from the article Cruz was even the lead. So in reality it is a non story.

Edited April 14, 2016 by notti

[ten ocho recon scout]

Cruz's college roomate chimes in on the subject

Craig Mazin ‏@clmazin Apr 13 lol, nice

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

[nate]

So wait, he hasn't even been a politician for 10 years?

 

I really hope Bernie doesn't get the nom so I don't have to vote for this tool.

[Kevin]

OK, that was good, Eric.

But as Woody Allen said, "don't knock masturbation - its sex with someone you love."

So if you don't love yourself, are you being sexually assaulted? Asking for a friend.

[mp170.6]

I don't like dildos, BJ's, or AJ's

[Tank]

BJs has a really great pizookie. I don't know anyone who doesn't like one of them, unless they're from mother russia.

[Jason]

Does giving a dildo a BJ count as masturbation?

[Puget Sound Angel]

Another sexually repressed Republican.

[arch stanton]

Does giving a dildo a BJ count as masturbation?

Try it and let me know

[Jason]

I'd rather find out 2nd hand and take their word for it.

[Amazing Larry]

What about ZJs?

 

I'm patiently waiting for someone to ask the follow up question...

[nate]

I just figured it had something to do with ears or the back of the knee

[mp170.6]

I'm patiently waiting for someone to ask the follow up question...

 

Me too, you're welcome to ask any time.

[Taylor]

 

Cruz's college roomate chimes in on the subject

 

Craig Mazin â€@clmazin  Apr 13

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

 

 

Funny. My dad knows Craig Mazin, and Craig says Ted Cruz was a total douche in college.

[Taylor]

BJs has a really great pizookie. I don't know anyone who doesn't like one of them, unless they're from mother russia.

 

Last time I was there, I noticed they now have ice cream covered monkey bread on the menu. Next time I shall try it, and enjoy it like there's no tomorrow. BJ's for life.

[Tank]

Funny. My dad knows Craig Mazin, and Craig says Ted Cruz was a total douche in college.

 

we'll file this one under "least surprising things i've heard today."

[Angelsjunky]

I don't like dildos, BJ's, or AJ's

 

Ass jobs?

[Crampknees]

Has Trump come out and called Cruz a dildo yet?  Seems like the logical next move. 

 

And admit it, most of you are obscene-device users. 

[AngelsLongBall]

What about ZJs?

If you gotta ask, big man, you can't afford it

[AngelsLongBall]

Fine.

What's a ZJ?

[AngelsLongBall]

What if I delete it?

[Guest]

Cruz's college roomate chimes in on the subject

Craig Mazin ‏@clmazin Apr 13

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

I said damn. Wow.

[AngelsLakersFan]

Funny. My dad knows Craig Mazin, and Craig says Ted Cruz was a total douche in college.

 

He's a total douche now, so this isn't really surprising.