Random Thoughts Thread

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

Wife is out of town. Obligatory way too big of a steak for one human being night incoming. 

[arch stanton]

My daughter babysat for a 2 year old this week. If I have to hear one more minute of Thomas the Tank Engine I'm going to walk in front of one.

[Tank]

8 hours ago, arch stanton said:

My daughter babysat for a 2 year old this week. If I have to hear one more minute of Thomas the Tank Engine I'm going to walk in front of one.

The island of Sodor is lovely this time of year.

there are videos, too. Some are narrated by ringo Starr and some are narrated by George carlin. Not kidding.

[Blarg]

8 hours ago, arch stanton said:

My daughter babysat for a 2 year old this week. If I have to hear one more minute of Thomas the Tank Engine I'm going to walk in front of one.

Read Go The Fuck To Sleep, I hear it is popular. 

[mrwicked]

On 8/23/2016 at 8:56 AM, Adam said:

I love it when I have to take a dump at work and the toilet water is still blue from the cleaning.

and if they used bleach, you get that sizzle.

[m0nkey]

On 12/9/2015 at 7:14 AM, m0nkey said:

I just passed my first test of the CPA exam.

 

Not even excited because I have 3 more to go

 

On 6/8/2016 at 10:26 AM, m0nkey said:

2 more to go

1 more of these suckers to go

[the dude abides]

20 hours ago, arch stanton said:

My daughter babysat for a 2 year old this week. If I have to hear one more minute of Thomas the Tank Engine I'm going to walk in front of one.

They're two they're four they're six they're eight.  Shunting trucks and hauling freight 

Red and green and brown and blue they're the really useful crew.  

Thanks, now it's in my head.

 

[Adam]

6 hours ago, m0nkey said:

 

1 more of these suckers to go

Hey Monk, how aggressive are you willing to be when it comes to tax returns?

[m0nkey]

I'm an auditor.  I don't even know how to do my own taxes

[Adam]

5 hours ago, m0nkey said:

I'm an auditor.  I don't even know how to do my own taxes

IRS or State?

[Tank]

6 hours ago, m0nkey said:

I'm an auditor.  

i'm too hot (hot damn), called a police and a fireman

i'm too hot (hot damn), make a dragon wanna retire man

i'm too hot (hot damn), say my name you know who i am

i'm too hot (hot damn), am i bad 'bout that money, break it down

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

Just threw a brisket on the Weber kettle. Gotta run to Staters when they open and pick up 4 slabs of ribs and throw those on as well. 

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

Brisket. Check. 

Ribs. Check. 

Chicken. Engage. 

[Adam]

Dude in the stall next to me sounds like he's pissing solids

[Tank]

white nikes with a blue swoosh?

[mrwicked]

On 9/9/2016 at 7:41 AM, m0nkey said:

I'm an auditor.  I don't even know how to do my own taxes

i did the taxes for my friends in college. dirt simple with turbotax, could do it in 30mins. charge a bunch and have extra money for my raging quaaludes addiction.

can't do my own these days though. sadly.

[arch stanton]

Raging on quaaludes is a good way to describe waiting for a Weaver fastball to reach the plate.

[m0nkey]

On 9/9/2016 at 0:57 PM, Adam said:

IRS or State?

Financial statement auditor

[Adam]

Awww

 

so you're cooking the books. That pays wel. Good luck!

[m0nkey]

I don't cook the books.

 

I help others cook the books.

[nate]

You just get blamed for it when it all goes wrong

[Tank]

8 hours ago, m0nkey said:

I don't cook the books.

 

I help others cook the books.

good luck, andy dufresne.

[gotbeer]

OMG.  My buddy has the best stories.

So he's living in Vegas.  His buddy is out of town, so he's housesitting. 

He's out walking his buddies dogs.  I guess they are doing their business.  Then a bum comes out, and starts hitting him with a 2 by 4.  So he defends himself, and throws down.  Lucky for him, a cop see's the whole thing. 

So the cop "arrests" him.  My buddy has the dogs, so he asks if he could go back to his house and drop the dogs off.  Cop gives the okay, so he goes home and drops the dogs off. 

He goes back, and the neighbor that this all happened to says oh, the cops left.  And let the bum go.

So obviously my friend is like WTF.  There is a police substation nearby, so he goes there asking what happened.

The po po there says, oh, they got a call of a man with a gun a few blocks away, so the cops had to all go to that.  My buddy is like but he assaulted me.  The police goes through it's speel about this and that.

Then a car pulls up.  Guy says to the cop, hey, a block away, a bum got hit by a car.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.  My friend got curious and went there.  And yup, it was that bum.  My buddy said he don't look good, and probably won't make it. 

 

[m0nkey]

I just bought Ariana Grande tickets for March at the forum.  After that concert, my last four concerts will have been:

Ariana Grande

Coldplay

Justin Bieber

Taylor Swift

 

100% heterosexual too

[Tank]

28 minutes ago, m0nkey said:

I just bought Ariana Grande tickets for March at the forum.  After that concert, my last four concerts will have been:

Ariana Grande

Coldplay

Justin Bieber

Taylor Swift

 

100% heterosexual too

we're going to need more evidence than just your word for it.