Random Thoughts Thread

[ELEVEN]

Your sitting in a car or enclosed space with that special lady. Enjoying some relaxation activities. All of a sudden, you have to rip a huge fart.

What's your strategy?

Dutch oven

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

Mayweather/Pac is official. May 2nd. 5 years too late.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Frustration is sitting at the DMV for four hours for what should be an easy and mundane transaction, finally making it to the counter only to be asked for a piece of information that I don't have and shouldn't need, and going home without finishing said transaction.

Edited February 21, 2015 by Vegas Halo Fan

[ELEVEN]

Frustration is sitting at the DMV for four hours for what should be an easy and mundane transaction, finally making it to the counter only to be asked for a piece of information that I don't have and shouldn't need, and going home without finishing said transaction.

F'n library card!

[gotbeer]

Watching Pursuit of Happyness.  One of those Shawshank Redemption type of films for me.  If it's on, I just want to watch it.  

[gotbeer]

Ok so I turned it on. Is him and his kid gonna fly to another planet or defeat whitey?

 

Kid is first going to learn Karate.   Then he's going to fly to another planet.  

[ELEVEN]

I haven't had a random thought in so long...

[arch stanton]

I have now perfected sauerbraten. I need a German word to describe my culinary talent. Preferably at least 12 letters long.

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

I got a random burst of energy over the last half hour. 

[Ochocinco!]

I have no energy.. Have worked the past 6 days, I need a day of sleep, sh*t, sleep, eat and sleep.

[ELEVEN]

I had a dream where I was at an expensive restaurant and when I opened my wallet to pay, my wife had taken all of my Rondons.

[Brandon]

Bakersfield is the equivalent of Colton, Hemet, and Apple Valley. This place looks like an episode of Breaking Bad.

[gotbeer]

I am like a moth to a flame when it comes to police chases.  And this one is a standoff.  

 

Oh possibly suicidal.  This might be more exciting than an academy award winning film.

[Blarg]

I believe I have perfected tom yum soup. An 87.5% pure Caucasian can bring tears to the eyes of his Thai friends.

So you are saying your farts are potent?

[Blarg]

Sorry, late to the thread and missed the stickboy reference.

[Angels_Make_Me_Drink]

So apparently the Yankees are mad at A-roid again. This time because he didn't inform them that he was going to report to camp early.

 

Hmm, I wish Hamilton would've reported to camp early....and healthy.

[Tank]

Hmm, I wish Hamilton would've reported to the Yankees camp early....and healthy.

 

fixed.

[Brandon]

Trippy story from yesterday.

I'm out of town on business in a city I've never been to before. Been here two days so far, so the general landscape and direction is coming along.

I head back to my hotel to end the day and as I exit the freeway see that I messed up and needed to make a left instead of go straight....I had my mental directions backwards. As soon as I say to myself, "Shit, I need to be in this left lane" I look over and see some dude get absolutely barreled by someone running a red light and it's slow motion for me at this point but see this car close to flipping as they both head towards us and eventually slam into an older Suburban in the lane next to me that is jolted and almost hits me.

I don't know what to do because I can't just get out of my car and check on everyone as I'm at a freeway exit and risk causing another accident. I'm also still trying to wrap up a business deal on the car hands free device.

Having pulled over down the street, gathering myself, and closing the deal, I drive back to my hotel the right way and realize I should have been where that Suburban was which would have been absolutely brutal for the smaller car I was in...hell, if it was anything but a hunk of metal Suburban I was in that accident.

Just crazy the domino effect of a deal taking so long into after hours, being across town that had me backwards with directions, I had also missed a turn driving home that set me back a couple minutes to put me at that stop light at that exact time, and I accidentally missed my turn to be in the lane not affected.

That'll give you some random thoughts.

[Ochocinco!]

Thinking about Hamilton makes my balls itch.

[gotbeer]

Flashback.

 

First, Maddux was convinced no hitter could tell the speed of a pitch with any meaningful accuracy. To demonstrate, he pointed at a road a quarter-mile away and said it was impossible to tell if a car was going 55, 65 or 75 mph unless there was another car nearby to offer a point of reference.

“You just can’t do it,” he said. Sometimes hitters can pick up differences in spin. They can identify pitches if there are different releases points or if a curveball starts with an upward hump as it leaves the pitcher’s hand. But if a pitcher can change speeds, every hitter is helpless, limited by human vision.

 

“Except,” Maddux said, “for that [expletive] Tony Gwynn.”

 

[1nutkruk]

Flashback.

I love that quote.  I first saw it the day after Gwynn died last year.  Gwynn would torture Maddux.

[Hollyw00d]

Apparently frank Thomas could do it too

[gotbeer]

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads...

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads...

 

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads...

 

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads...

 

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads...

 

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads...

 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

 

The first floor has wives that love sex.

 

The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.

 

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited. 

[gotbeer]

For the last week.  The neighbors contractor has been digging a hole with heavy machinery for what looks like the foundation to an addition.  They have a very noisy backhoe and a dumptruck has been pulling up throughout the day to put the little bit of dirt in.  It looks like the foundation is about 2 feet into the ground.

 

When we did our addition.  It took about 6 day laborers a day to dig the foundation 2 feet into the ground.

[Hollyw00d]

You're a teacher?