Lov'n me some unions

[mp170.6]

indifferent towards how their kid is doing. they don't set up any parameters for their kid to work under, like a consistent study time each night or getting help when their kid has difficulty. i'm dealing with a parent now whose son has failed a couple of classes and needs summer school or extra work at a learning center. she won't take him, and i just found out it's been this way for the last 3 or 4 years. her kid needs help but isn't getting it. i've had to deal also with parents who have kids with severe cases of ADHD but can't get any help or evaluation because the parents aren't interested in hearing that their child has a learning disability, even though it's treatable. 

 

Are younger or older parents worse in this regard?

 

Some of my extended family is dealing with ADHD problems right now, and I fear they're in complete denial.  The kids' moms are very well meaning, but they cling to false hope offered by these quack MD's (or wannabes) on television, who insist ADHD can be "cured" with natural supplements. 

 

We keep telling them the kids don't have time for this nonsense.  Their kid is one step away from landing in juvenile hall and they want to mess around with fish oil supplements instead of getting advice from professionals.  Really sad.

[Tank]

i'm in my mid-50s so i'd have to say it's more parents that are younger than me. 

 

had a family in recent years with a son that acted like he was made of flubber. couldn't sit still and was hard to settle down in class. had a meeting with the parents and suggested they get him tested to see if he needed help. the parents were furious with us. one of them said "that's how i was in school, and there was nothing wrong with me." they told us to never bring it up again because their son was fine, so we never brought it up again and had a ton of trouble with their boy. they also had a second son who was exactly like the first, so the party continued with him.

 

i get that there are parents who don't want to medicate their child, but some of these kids (and we just graduated a class that had about half a dozen who needed evaluation) need help beyond just being ignored by their folks. i hope your family can get the help needed for their child.

[arch stanton]

My oldest daughter has always been one of the most focused and driven kids I've ever run across. Getting her through school was a breeze. My 12 year old daughter, who has a different mother, will not be the same story.

 

She's a bundle of energy and curiosity and everybody loves being around her but she cannot sit still and her focus is short term only. I've been able to guide her through the first 6 grades with a lot of personal attention and studying with her in her way. We use short bursts and once she loses her focus I let her take a break and refocus. I know this is not a good option going forward and if it gets to the point where she can't keep up I'll do what I have to and put her on the meds but until that time I don't want to change the sweet little girl, even if sitting next to her is like trying to hold a sack full of kittens.

 

I'm just glad she came along at a time when I have the patience and availability to let her be herself. If the older one had been that way I'm not sure how I would have handled it.

[halomatt]

indifferent towards how their kid is doing. they don't set up any parameters for their kid to work under, like a consistent study time each night or getting help when their kid has difficulty. i'm dealing with a parent now whose son has failed a couple of classes and needs summer school or extra work at a learning center. she won't take him, and i just found out it's been this way for the last 3 or 4 years. her kid needs help but isn't getting it. i've had to deal also with parents who have kids with severe cases of ADHD but can't get any help or evaluation because the parents aren't interested in hearing that their child has a learning disability, even though it's treatable. 

 

I agree.  I have the same situations in my class. Many kids go home and the parents won't even ask.  The kids will go out and hang with friends instead of do the work.  And really, why not?  If no one at home is setting the standards for education, why would they?  It's not the kid's fault.  With many of the kids, the only time I can get them to work and try is at school.  Unfortunately, with 40 kids in a class, it's like herding cats.  It doesn't help when the unmedicated ADHD/ADD kids are bouncing off the walls and the parents won't lift a finger to at least TRY  and medicate their kids.  This year in particular, I have more kids that are unmedicated than I think I've had in a few years.  The reasons are similar to what Tank said.  Some parents aren't interested in helping their child with medication, but I see these kids in class and see how they can't focus and can't take notes or have to constantly verbalize an endless stream of nonsensical thoughts to others because they can't monitor their own behavior. 

[Taylor]

Public school, 8th grade.  The one thing I've noticed most in the years I've taught is that lack of parenting is having a profound effect upon their children's education.  I can't tell how many kids don't do the work.  I'll call them up and ask them and they'll say they didn't get it.  I take three minutes.  No longer.  I explain the assignment, have the student complete an example and then have the student turn in the assignment the next day.  I'll often get the assignment the next day and I wonder what the kid could do if their parent would just...****in...be...a...PARENT!!!

 

Drives me nuts.  If I lose tenure, I'm going to be evaluated on these students whose ****-tard parents don't give a shit????  I can't go home with each student to be their parent. 

 

(Sorry about the cursing.)

 

That has to be beyond frustrating. If parents aren't supporting or reinforcing what you're teaching, there's a very, very slim chance their kids will grow and succeed in their education.

[Taylor]

i'm in my mid-50s so i'd have to say it's more parents that are younger than me. 

 

had a family in recent years with a son that acted like he was made of flubber. couldn't sit still and was hard to settle down in class. had a meeting with the parents and suggested they get him tested to see if he needed help. the parents were furious with us. one of them said "that's how i was in school, and there was nothing wrong with me." they told us to never bring it up again because their son was fine, so we never brought it up again and had a ton of trouble with their boy. they also had a second son who was exactly like the first, so the party continued with him.

 

i get that there are parents who don't want to medicate their child, but some of these kids (and we just graduated a class that had about half a dozen who needed evaluation) need help beyond just being ignored by their folks. i hope your family can get the help needed for their child.

 

When I hear stories like this, I always wonder what is going through the parents' minds when they're denying the reality right in front of them. Do they feel like it's an attack on their parenting skills when a teacher describes a child's behavior issues? Are they just too lazy to get help, so they justify sitting on their hands? 

 

Good parenting would solve the majority of this country's social problems.

[mp170.6]

Does the proliferation of social media and reality TV shows factor into bad parenting? 

 

Ten years ago, there wasn't Facebook or Twitter to waste an hour on everyday.  Nor was there American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, X Factor, or Duck Dynasty to waste another 1-2 hours watching.

 

In fairness, we have to blame sports like baseball too, although this isn't anything new.  I like baseball as much as anybody but attending/watching all 162 games on television would drive me insane.  You have to feel for the kids whose parents are gone or glued to the television 3 hours a day, seven days a week. 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Does the proliferation of social media and reality TV shows factor into bad parenting? 

 

Ten years ago, there wasn't Facebook or Twitter to waste an hour on everyday.  Nor was there American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, X Factor, or Duck Dynasty to waste another 1-2 hours watching.

 

In fairness, we have to blame sports like baseball too, although this isn't anything new.  I like baseball as much as anybody but attending/watching all 162 games on television would drive me insane.  You have to feel for the kids whose parents are gone or glued to the television 3 hours a day, seven days a week. 

 

My opinion is that it is a combination of a lot of things. One is that there is no stigma attached to indiscriminately breeding anymore, so single parents are far more numerous than they used to be. We never had a need for terms like "baby momma" and "baby daddy" - not that unwed pregnancy never happened, but it wasn't a badge of honor that people openly advertised. People who aren't even equipped to care for themselves become responsible for a helpless human being, and it isn't surprising that they are overwhelmed and often are not as involved with their children as parents from traditional families are. They are struggling to survive as it is. Another is the proliferation of entertainment options, particularly at home. As long as they are quiet, many parents are content to let their children spend hours on video games and various computer pursuits, including social media.

 

When I was growing up we had three television channels and no video games, texting or cell phones, and we often had to find our own entertainment. I also had the benefit of having very involved parents. My parents started teaching me very early, and I was reading out of encyclopedias by the time I was four. Neither of my parents attended college (I was the first in my family to go), but they were intelligent people who gave me a strong learning foundation. When I was in first grade my teacher sent me to a fourth grade class for reading because I was too advanced for what she was teaching. I believe that this background helped me to overcome my public education, as I attended school in one of the worst school systems in Florida (Duval County Schools). I have accomplished what I have accomplished despite my public school education, not because of it. I am not implying that there were no good teachers and that I learned nothing, but compared to the students I was competing against once I reached the college level, my education as a whole was pathetic.

 

I often wonder how different my education would have been and how much more I might have accomplished (and much earlier) had there been magnet schools and something like the International Baccalaureate Program when I was in school. As it was, I scored in the top 0.5% statewide on the Florida 12th Grade Test (the entrance exam for state colleges and universities) despite coming from a school that scored as one of the 5-10 worst in the state based upon overall average on the test. Where it caught up with me was in the classroom. I didn't have an adequate background to grasp some of the concepts (particularly in advanced mathematics). Some of the students I was competing with had two years of calculus in high school, when I was lucky to get Algebra II and basic geometry.

Edited June 14, 2014 by Vegas Halo Fan

[Tank]

When I hear stories like this, I always wonder what is going through the parents' minds when they're denying the reality right in front of them. Do they feel like it's an attack on their parenting skills when a teacher describes a child's behavior issues? Are they just too lazy to get help, so they justify sitting on their hands? 

 

Good parenting would solve the majority of this country's social problems.

 

our impression is that there are a large number of parents out there who would feel like failures as adults if there was something "wrong" with their kid, like having ADHD.

[floplag]

18 days a year is chronic in ANY profession.  i think people take issue with treachers in the regard due to summers off, though for me having a teacher miss that much is directly assocaited with the progression of the kids too.. a substitue cannot move a class as well without the knowledge so its the kids that end up having to play catch up and class size prevents that from being realstic.
i feel for teachers, they are underpayed and have a lot of negatives, but 18 days?  thats too much in any field.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

Most of the substitute teachers we had when I was in school were little more than babysitters who tried to keep us from killing each other or destroying the classroom before the bell rang ending the period. I can only think of a couple who even tried to teach anything, and one of those was filling in for two weeks. The ones who knew that they were only teaching for one day just tried to make it through the period without something catastrophic happening.

 

During one of my junior high school years (no middle schools back then) we had a teacher strike. The principal tried holding large classes in the school auditorium, which was completely useless. After the strike ended some of my teachers did not return, so there was no continuity in the material that was taught. It was essentially a lost year.

[Adam]

lol

 

http://pjmedia.com/tatler/2014/08/13/chicago-teachers-union-prez-who-rails-against-the-rich-owns-three-homes-including-one-in-hawaii/

[mtangelsfan]

She seems like a cow but 'partial interest in homes' could be a time share, no?

 

If so, that really isn't close to the same as owning a home.

[Blarg]

"The Chicago Sun-Times is already having some fun reporting on what is sure to be one of the most ridiculous races in America."

Is the Sun Times making fun of Black people?

[Vegas Halo Fan]

i get that there are parents who don't want to medicate their child, but some of these kids (and we just graduated a class that had about half a dozen who needed evaluation) need help beyond just being ignored by their folks. i hope your family can get the help needed for their child.

 

My nephew (sister's boy) probably wouldn't have completed school without some chemical help. Fortunately for his teachers, both my sister and her husband are RNs, and they had a good idea of what they were dealing with and got help.

 

I have seen the other extreme all too often, though. Parents who refuse to believe that their child would do anything wrong, or that he/she has any kind of problem. If the school dares to point it out then they become hostile and refuse to do anything to help. My hat is off to school teachers because I know how we treated ours, and we didn't have iPads, smartphones, texting or social media. Trying to teach in an age when kids have become used to instant gratification and constant entertainment can't be an easy task.