Florida's Finest

[Redondo]

Lol, good job Tank. Exactly what I was thinking after reading calscuf's post.

[AngelsLakersFan]

Man arrested for reportedly drawing on child's homework

[Blarg]

No wonder the guy is a fuck up, he has four first names: Robert Paul Alexander Edwards.

[Tank]

Maybe someone ought to tell us how this clown had access to this kids assignment. Maybe that's a more urgent issue.

[Redondo]

 

Opossum in Florida gets drunk after breaking into liquor store

A Florida opossum has recovered after having one too many sips of bourbon while celebrating Thanksgiving.

Employees at Cash’s Liquor Store in Fort Walton Beach went back to work the day after Thanksgiving and discovered a strange sight: an opossum next to a broken and empty bottle of bourbon.

Owner Cash Moore told Northwest Florida Daily News this was the first time he’s experienced an opossum break-in at his business.

"She came in from the outside and was up in the rafters, and when she came through she knocked a bottle of liquor off the shelf," Moore told Northwest Florida Daily. "When she got down on the floor she drank the whole damn bottle.”

Michelle Pettis, a technician at Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge, said the female opossum, who was brought in by a police officer, appeared pale and disoriented and was salivating excessively.

“A worker there found the opossum up on a shelf next to a cracked open bottle of liquor with nothing in it,” Pettis told the newspaper. “Assuming the opossum drank it all, he brought her to us, and we looked over her and she definitely wasn’t fully acting normal.”

The staff pumped the marsupial with fluids to flush out the alcohol in her system. She sobered up in a few days and was released on Thursday unharmed.

 

[gotbeer]

Iguanas are falling out of trees in Florida because it's so cold. Please don't pick them up.

 

Isn't this one of the signs of the Florida apocalypse? 

[Tank]

time for some higher education, florida style.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/01/09/white-racism-class-at-florida-university-will-be-guarded-by-police-officers.html

[AngelsLakersFan]

I wasn't sure if this should go in the pit bull thread or the florida one...

http://time.com/5082353/woman-shoots-pit-bull-puppy/

[gotbeer]

Florida man’s latest worry: Killer herpes from wild monkeys

[Tank]

8 hours ago, gotbeer said:

Florida man’s latest worry: Killer herpes from wild monkeys

looks like i'll need to change my weekend plans.

[Vegas Halo Fan]

On 1/9/2018 at 1:22 PM, Tank said:

time for some higher education, florida style.

 

This guy obviously didn't take advantage of it.

Man charged with DUI after ordering burrito in bank drive-thru

The Hernando County Sheriff’s Office says employees spotted Francisco passed out in the bank’s drive-up lane. After the workers banged on his car for some time, deputies say Francisco finally woke up and tried to order a burrito. When the branch manager told him it wasn’t a Taco Bell, he reportedly drove to the front parking lot.

Deputies say they found Francisco in the driver’s seat with his car running. He was arrested after failing a field sobriety test.

[mtangelsfan]

The burrito at the bank is probably going to be better than the one from Taco Bell.

[gotbeer]

FLORIDA HAS BEEN RANKED THE WORST STATE IN THE U.S.: HERE'S WHY

[gotbeer]

Father, daughter caught having sex in their back yard

 

[Tank]

i am not clicking on that link.

[Blarg]

She got poked in the Bunns.

 

 

Yeah, I clicked the damn link.

[gotbeer]

Woman in ‘romantic’ relationship with brother charged after giving birth: cops

 

[Vegas Halo Fan]

On 3/27/2018 at 5:38 PM, gotbeer said:

Woman in ‘romantic’ relationship with brother charged after giving birth: cops

Martin was arrested Friday on charges of incest and resisting without violence, according to court records.

Did she say "stop it"? Pull her hand back?

[red321]

Not sure how...but I'm sure this person is somehow tied to Florida

http://abc3340.com/news/offbeat/homeowner-finds-naked-intruder-in-her-tub-eating-cheetos-04-19-2018-164654095

Homeowner finds naked intruder in her tub, eating Cheetos

[ten ocho recon scout]

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/05/08/aspiring-model-found-dead-in-doctors-home-after-night-sex-drugs-and-alcohol-police-say.amp.html

[Lou]

On March 27, 2018 at 5:38 PM, gotbeer said:

Woman in ‘romantic’ relationship with brother charged after giving birth: cops

 

Without clicking on the link, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess they're white. 

[Lou]

On March 6, 2018 at 3:14 PM, gotbeer said:

Father, daughter caught having sex in their back yard

 

Without clicking on the link, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess they're white. 

[ten ocho recon scout]

You could sayyyyyyy, they dont have a tan.

[Lou]

At least it wasn't with their dogs 

 

this time 

[gotbeer]

Florida Mom and Her 2 Children Die After Their Car Hits Alligator on Interstate 95

Tragic.  But alligators on the road.  No thank you.